* The Jen Network *

My personal life was a happy and hedonistic one until I realized that I was different from my friends. I was already about a year old, and I had neither an older brother (preferably named Richard) nor an older sister (preferably named Linda, Susan, or Barbara).

I asked my mother for one, so that I could be like all of my friends.

(What? Yes. I was amazingly advanced for my age when I was 18 months, why? You don't believe me? Well, why not just go back in time and see, then. Oh wait. You can't, can you. Hah! You'll have to trust me, then right? Right. SO. Where was I?)

Right.

I asked my mother for either a big sister or a big brother, so that I could be like all of my friends. She said no, and smiled.

I should have guessed what would happen next.
 

In the summer of 1975, my parents announced "her name is Violet", and sat me down on the couch with a brand new baby doll… uh, I mean… baby sister.